Low Point

If we all thought that I did two double shifts back to back was bad, we were oh so wrong. Yesterday, the second double, turned into a triple day. Fourteen hours pales in comparison to the sixteen straight hours of fun of yesterday.

As soon as I got in yesterday morning at 8:30 am, I was asked if I could fill in later that night since people called in sick. I didn't really want to but I felt they needed me. I was running on lack of sleep, food, and rest. I was probably also PMSing too 'cause I completely broke down - tears and all - when prepping for the third cruise. I was fine until I talked to the cruise manager when I got on to the boat and something he said just set me off on a bawl fest. It's mainly the way he talks to his staff that really bugs me. He probably doesn't mean to be rude but he is. One of the bartenders asked if I could be a runner between the bars to help them out when they need it since I am the other bartender on staff and he said that I am a good server and he needed me on the floor. Then I let him know that this was my third shift that day and I may be a little slow so don't yell at me or something. He goes on and on about how everyone's tired and how he doesn't ever yell at anyone. Another manager would have said to do your best and we'll all help you or something similar that's encouraging. All I wanted was for him to take that into consideration so I wouldn't take a big group or tables.

Even during the beginning of the third cruise, I served these poor guests with red eyes, a stuffed nose, and raspy voice. It got worse when I accidentally spilled and broke a glass and had to re-linen the table, which meant putting all the dishes, cutlery, and napkins on the adjacent table that wasn't occupied yet. Of course, the guests for the adjacent table had to come. I told them that I would be quick and that I had to re-linen their table, and that if they could wait for a couple of minutes it would be out of their way. At first they were ok about it. A few seconds later, they asked if they could sit somewhere else since there were other tables that were empty, which was fine. But it was the guy's last comment that threw me completely off and bawling yet again. He said, "I don't want to sit where there's someone else's dirty dishes." The guy at the table I was re-linening said, "They're not even dirty!" when the other couple had walked off to an empty table.

That was not the last of it. I was about to check on my tables and I saw the guy going up to the bar so I asked if he was. He said that he was going to get a couple of glasses of water. I told him that I could bring that for him. He said, "... Okay" in a sarcastic and mocking tone. I brought their drinks and asked if they wanted anything else. At that point, I was on the brink of tears again and it definitely showed. They both looked at me like they wanted me out of there. I ended up giving the table to another server 'cause I couldn't handle the guy's sarcasm and cynicism against me anymore.

The rest of the night was more rollercoasters. I had to disappear every so often to go somewhere quiet and just let it out. Or I would immerse myself to doing work so I wouldn't think about it so much, which didn't really work. It was a bad day. I hated crying in front of the other staff and looking the way I did in front of the guests. I couldn't control it either. Honestly, this never happened to me before and I'm not sure why this happened when I worked crazier shifts with worse people last year.

PS. I've been M.I.A. the past few days because I was staying over at my brother's place, if you were wondering.